Thursday, February 24, 2011

Mush Brain

The weather's been cold the past few days. Today I woke to snow outside on the ground. It was a couple inches thick and blowing down in big drifts.

Heather, the lady who runs the SOS shelter came to me this morning and asked what kind of tent I wanted. They're closing the shelter on Monday, and I've been bugging her for a tent. She said they had all different sizes and shapes. I told her I just need a simple two-man, small and light, easy for me to cary and I don't really keep very much stuff anyway. She also said that she would get me a good sleeping bag that I could take with me.

Yesterday was my birthday, and they decorated the tables at the shelter for me. They had a banner that read "Happy Birthday" all the way down it, and I got to go first in the food line. It wasn't bad, felt nice the way everyone played along wishing me a Happy Birthday. And it wasn't too much birthday-attention. My new buddy, Dan got me stoned on a couple joints and some pot carmel that he makes. I just sat there and watched everyone around me, while waiting for bedtime.

Today, nothing is open. I went to the Day Center and it was closed for the day. CAP is closed also. I was able to refill my anti-depresant. That was good, but basicly today is a bust. I checked in with the Health Share program and that lady is out for the day. I left her a note so that she knows I came by, in case there's an opening she's trying to fill.

I found $6 on the ground on a MAX platform. That was cool. I was able to buy a fresh pack of smokes and a lighter. I have no idea how long it's been since my last FRESH pack of smokes, but I was hoping someone would buy me a pack for my birthday and they didn't. So, this was like a birthday gift from God... and the person who dropped the money. Thanks, where ever you are.

I came to the Beaverton library to use the computer. First I sat outside and smoked a cigarette. I just sat there on a park bench, smoking and staring off into space. I notice that my mind has become numb. I'm not sure when it happened, but I have actually achieved a state of complete mindlessness. I travel through my day, mostly biding time and trying to stay warm and dry. It's amazing how mindless that can be. I catch sleep where ever I can, and sit very still most of the time, just mindlessly navigating the day.

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